E-Modes: the existential modes

A tool for building your own existence

Human beings are the only beings capable of building their own destiny, and taking on this responsibility is the great challenge of our existence. Freedom, an exclusively human condition, gives us the possibility of making decisions and, therefore, the ability to shape our lives beyond our immediate circumstances. Designing our destiny is perhaps the most exciting adventure, and the one most proper to human beings.

The central aim of this whole process is to face this great challenge: to train ourselves to build an existence that is not only worth the effort, but worth a life, because that is what living is about. All other resources, techniques and tools are means so that, in the end, our existence can be what we truly want, choose and make real.

E-Modes is an existential training tool that allows us to approach human complexity, understand it and manage it.

It does not seek to replace techniques, resources or beliefs that help improve our lives; on the contrary, it helps bring all these efforts together, giving them a framework for designing a strategy that addresses each human being's greatest challenge, one no one else can take on for them: building their own existence.

The Fear and Trust dynamics

The E-Mode is the way of facing existence that we have developed, the strategy with which we approach our life. It is not something we are born with: it is built gradually from our experiences, perceptions and responses to our surroundings.

From the moment we come into the world, our perception of reality is structured by two basic dispositions: the Fear dynamic and the Trust dynamic. These two ways of approaching reality shape how we face existential challenges and lie at the root of the development of an E-Mode.

How an E-Mode forms

Within these two fundamental dynamics, the formation of an E-Mode can be explained in three stages.

1. Early existential imprints

From our earliest years, we take in reality without any structured order, forming what we call early existential imprints. These imprints include:

• Cognitive imprints: how we interpret, on the mental level, what we experience (Perspective).
• Affective imprints: how we feel what happens to us and the emotions it awakens in us (Affective).
• Behavioral imprints: our first ways of acting and responding to reality (Effective).

From the start, these imprints are not organized in a stable, permanent way, but they do respond to the two fundamental dynamics of the human being: Fear and Trust.

If the Fear dynamic prevails, existential imprints become more restrictive and conditioned. The child internalizes a defensive structure, in which certain stimuli are interpreted as risks or threats, limiting the way they think, feel and act.

If the Trust dynamic is present, existential imprints tend to be more open, flexible and expansive. The person develops a greater capacity to explore and process reality freely. The child experiences their surroundings with curiosity and security, taking in experiences without perceiving any significant threat or uncertainty.

At this stage, the imprints formed within the Fear or the Trust dynamic are not clearly delimited, but they do begin to set a tendency in how early experiences are recorded.

As we grow up, we not only experience the world, we also interpret those experiences and give them meaning:

• We receive explicit and implicit messages from our family, social and cultural environment.
• We perceive how the world reacts to our actions (approval, disapproval, indifference, affection, rejection).
• We internalize which aspects of our identity seem to stand out or be valued most in order to obtain recognition, security or love.

This decoding of reality is influenced by our early existential imprints and shaped by the Fear and Trust dynamics. The way we have taken in reality conditions how we interpret what happens to us and what we consider relevant to our existence. However, these are conditioning factors, not determining ones: what is truly decisive is what each child decodes and ultimately understands as central or meaningful in their life.

2. Setting the Existential Axis

Various philosophical, spiritual and psychological traditions have identified central patterns in human behavior. Through the observation of different cultures, eras and societies, nine fundamental areas have been recorded on which a person tends to focus their attention and structure their experiences.

These nine Existential Axes represent essential dimensions of human life, and they work as cores around which people organize their perception of the world, their emotional imprints and their strategies for responding to reality. Beyond individual or cultural differences, these axes have been identified as universal in human experience. Any human being, whatever their origin, tends to lean toward one of them, shaping their identity and their personal dynamics according to the importance they give to that central aspect.

Some people find their Axis in Goodness, guiding their existence by ethical principles and the pursuit of what is right. Others build it around Love, prioritizing affective connection and mutual emotional recognition. For those who focus on Worth, life revolves around expressing their value and being recognized for their abilities and achievements. On the Identity Axis, the emphasis is on building and affirming one's identity and one's own significance.

Others organize their existence around Personal Competence, seeking knowledge and developing skills to understand and act in the world. Those oriented toward Confidence tend to live from security in themselves and in life. In the case of Happiness, the focus is on experiencing wellbeing and fullness.

There are also those who center on Self-Determination, prioritizing their freedom and their ability to decide their own path, while others find their center in Harmony, valuing belonging, collaboration and connection in relationships.

These Axes are set through a process that may be determined by specific events or by a succession of experiences. However, what is truly decisive is how each person interprets what they have lived.

Unconsciously, we direct our attention to a specific area of life that we perceive as fundamental to our subsistence and development. Children need to simplify their perception in the face of the many challenges they meet and to find a point of reference that allows them to orient themselves. So they build the idea that, if they resolve that aspect of life, they will have what they need to unfold in the world. We call this area the Existential Axis.

The Existential Axis is not a conscious decision; it arises from:

• Previous existential imprints, which have shaped our perception of the world.
• The conditioning we have received, which has told us which aspects seem most important to our emotional stability.
• Our subjective interpretation of reality (what we decode), in which we prioritize a specific area as the focus of the cognitive, affective and behavioral attention of our existence.

The Fear and Trust dynamics influence how we set that Axis and how we approach it once it is centrally and permanently established, giving rise to an existential way of facing our life.

Once the Existential Axis is set, our imprints stop being scattered and begin to organize around it, structuring our particular way of thinking, feeling and acting. From this emerge life strategies aligned with these axes, which define how each person faces their reality and builds their sense of existence: what we call E-Modes.

3. Consolidating the E-Mode

Once the Existential Axis has been defined, the information we receive from the world is no longer processed in a disorderly way; it is structured through this Axis. And the Fear or the Trust dynamic plays a key role:

• If the Axis is structured mostly from Fear, the imprints become more rigid, conditioned and restrictive. The person faces their Axis with insecurity, a need for control or avoidance.
• If the Axis is structured predominantly from Trust, the imprints organized around it are characterized by autonomous thoughts, enabling emotions and flexible actions. The person faces their Axis with openness and growth.

For example, if someone has set their Axis on worth but has structured it predominantly from Fear, they may develop thoughts of inadequacy, feelings of insecurity and overdemanding actions to prove their value. If they have set it from Trust, they will be able to see themselves as valuable without needing outside approval, feeling secure in their abilities.

As these organized imprints are reinforced over time, they consolidate into a stable strategy for responding to reality: the E-Mode. It is the structure through which we interpret and respond to life, guided by patterns of thought, emotion and behavior that have consolidated over time. Depending on whether it was shaped through the Fear or the Trust dynamic, it will have more expansive and adaptive features, or more limiting and conditioned ones.

The nine E-Modes

Each E-Mode develops around an Existential Axis. The color shows the triad it belongs to.

Integration and disintegration

The Fear and Trust dynamics condition our perception of reality, influencing how we think, feel and act, and they determine the degree of integration or disintegration of the three existential dimensions: effective, affective and perspective.

When the Trust dynamic prevails, these dimensions tend to come together, producing greater integration. This creates a larger area of intersection, where what we think, what we value and love, and what we ultimately do align coherently. We call this zone the area of high human performance, because it is in this space that our existence reaches its fullest development and authenticity. The more integrated we are, the more we fulfill ourselves in the area, or Existential Axis, that guides our cognitive, affective and behavioral focus of attention.

By contrast, when the Fear dynamic dominates, the dimensions come apart, giving rise to processes of disintegration. What we think drifts away from what we feel, and what we feel drifts away from what we do. This fragmentation prevents us from living an existence that is coherent between what we value and believe (Perspective), what we are passionate about and desire (Affective) and what we can ultimately make happen (Effective).

In summary

We take in reality in a disorganized way in our early years (existential imprints), influenced by the Fear or the Trust dynamic. We decode the messages from our surroundings and interpret what is essential to our existence (conditioning and decoding). We fix our attention on a specific area, perceived as central to our life (Existential Axis), and we organize our imprints around that Axis, shaped by Trust or Fear. In this way we consolidate a stable response strategy: the E-Mode.

For the accompaniment process

Thinking, feeling and doing from Fear and from Trust

We compare the Fear dynamic and the Trust dynamic based on the characteristics of the thoughts, feelings and actions that set them apart. The aim is to identify how we operate under each dynamic, to make it easier to recognize it and to shift toward Trust.

Fear limits, while Trust expands. Recognizing which dynamic we are in allows us to make conscious, free decisions, and so to build an authentic existence.

It is important to bear in mind that, when we speak of Trust or Fear, we mean two fundamental dynamics through which we face reality. We are not talking about emotions or feelings as such (an emotion is an automatic, brief reaction; a feeling is its conscious, lasting interpretation).

Fear, as a basic emotion, protects us from danger, pushes us to anticipate events and to look after our subsistence: it is a mechanism that supports self-preservation. However, when this emotion or feeling becomes the central dynamic from which we approach life, whether through what we think, feel or do, that dynamic becomes restrictive and limiting, and leads us to an inauthentic existence.