E-Mode 1 · The Axis of Goodness

At a glance

The Existential Axis of Goodness

The Existential Axis of Goodness takes shape when, in the early years of life, a child develops a particular attention to what is fair, what is right and what contributes to their own good and the good of those around them. This Axis is tied to the world of rules, principles and ethical values, and to the intention of acting consistently with what is perceived as good or appropriate.

From this perspective, existence begins to organize itself around a natural inclination to distinguish what is right from what is not, to take on responsibilities, to improve what can be improved and to respond to the world with integrity. It is a way of being in the world in which duty, rightness and care for others stand out as meaningful, guiding references.

Goodness thus becomes the core from which personal experience is organized. Existential attention focuses on how to act rightly, how to contribute to order and how to keep what one thinks, feels and does consistent: a structuring Axis that gives life meaning and direction.

Childhood context

Exploring the childhood context allows us to understand more deeply how certain traits develop from an early age. Many of the behavior patterns we see in adults are rooted in childhood experiences and family dynamics. Understanding the context in which we first set the way we face our existence helps us understand how we face situations and challenges today.

Good, responsible children

From an early age, a child with E-Mode 1 tends to be aware of the expectations and rules around them. From the start, they try to understand the rules and the "right" ways of doing things.

• They are naturally orderly and structured, and feel safer when things follow an established pattern.
• They may show signs of self-control and self-regulation.
• They may be perfectionists, striving for excellence in their tasks and activities.
• They are likely to feel anxious at the thought of making mistakes.
• They may tend to be self-critical and feel uncomfortable when things do not go as planned.
• The need to meet high standards may be evident in play and in their everyday responsibilities.
• They may stand out in leadership roles or organizational responsibilities in group play.
• They often enjoy being role models, setting an example of ethical, proper behavior.

From Fear

What E-Mode 1 thinks (Perspective), feels (Affective) and does (Effective) in the Fear dynamic.

Reference character: Monica Geller (Friends)

Perspective · ThinkFrom Fear

What do they think?

Thoughts that arise from the fear of being wrong or imperfect can be strict and self-critical. Some examples of the inner narrative:

• Perfectionism: "If it isn't done perfectly, it isn't done right."
• Self-criticism: "I didn't do that as well as I should have."
• Comparison: "Why can't I do it as well as [someone else]?"
• Should: "I should be able to control this situation."
• Responsibility: "If I don't do it, nobody will do it properly."
• Fairness: "This isn't right; it needs to be fixed."
• Intolerance of mistakes: "Mistakes are unacceptable."
• Idealism: "There is a right way to do everything."
• Constant improvement: "There is always something to improve or fix."

These thoughts can lead to perfectionism, to a need to constantly correct mistakes and to a tendency to be critical of themselves and others.

Affective · FeelFrom Fear

What do they feel?

From the fear of being imperfect or wrong, they may experience intense and often conflicting emotions:

• Frustration: at not being able to reach the high standards they set for themselves or others.
• Anger: often repressed and expressed through perfectionism, criticism and irritability when things are not done according to their expectations.
• Resentment: when they perceive that others do not do things properly or do not value perfection and order as much as they do.
• Anxiety: an underlying anxiety about making mistakes, which shows up as constant worry about details and correctness.
• Guilt: when they believe they have failed their own standards or have somehow been "bad" or imperfect.
• Shame: the feeling of not being good enough or of having failed their ideals.
• Fear of mistakes: which can make them overly cautious and conservative when making decisions.
• Impatience: with processes they consider inefficient or with people who do not share their urgency to improve.
• Disillusionment: when reality does not match their ideal vision of how things should be.
• Hopelessness: in moments of great stress, about the possibility of reaching their ideals or about people's ability to change and improve.

Effective · DoFrom Fear

What do they do?

From Fear, they are driven by a compulsive desire for perfection and the fear of being flawed or bad. They may show these behaviors:

• Criticism: of themselves and others, focusing on mistakes and flaws in order to correct what they perceive as imperfect.
• Self-control: they work hard to keep strong self-control so as not to make mistakes or act wrongly, which can lead to emotional repression.
• Rigidity: strict adherence to rules, standards and procedures; they come across as inflexible.
• Perfectionism: they obsess over details and the quality of their work, which can lead to procrastination or analysis paralysis.
• Irritability: the constant pursuit of perfection can make them impatient when things are not done their way or to the level they expect.
• Control: they try to control their surroundings and other people to keep order and avoid imperfection.
• Moralizing: they may feel they have the authority or the responsibility to correct others.
• Justification: they justify their actions and criticism by believing they are helping others improve.

From Trust

What E-Mode 1 thinks, feels and does in the Trust dynamic.

Perspective · ThinkFrom Trust

What do they think?

When they live their Axis from Trust, their thoughts reflect a more open, balanced and positive mindset:

• Flexibility: "Things don't have to be perfect to be fine."
• Self-compassion: "It's OK to make mistakes; I'm human too."
• Perspective: "There are many right ways to do things."
• Appreciation: "I appreciate the good in life and in the people around me."
• Optimism: "The world is full of opportunities and beauty."
• Patience: "I can be patient and understand that everything has its time."
• Humility: "I don't need to have all the answers or solutions."
• Tolerance: "I can tolerate imperfections and enjoy the experience."
• Trust: "I trust that others also have good intentions and abilities."
• Balance: "It's important to balance work and play, effort and rest."

This shift in mindset frees them from self-criticism and rigidity, and lets them live with less stress and more happiness.

Affective · FeelFrom Trust

What do they feel?

They experience emotions that reflect greater inner wellbeing:

• Joy: genuine satisfaction at being able to appreciate life as it is, without the constant need to improve it.
• Serenity: inner peace, free from the perfectionism and self-criticism that often tense them up.
• Acceptance: ease with their own and others' imperfections, which opens the way to compassion.
• Optimism: an outlook that sees possibilities and opportunities rather than flaws and defects.
• Gratitude: for experiences, relationships and achievements, big and small.
• Enthusiasm: they allow themselves to take part in playful and creative activities without the pressure to be perfect.
• Curiosity: interest in new experiences and learning.
• Trust: that things will work out, even when they are not under their direct control.
• Kindness: more warmth and gentleness toward themselves and others, as harsh criticism softens.
• Patience: more tolerance of everyday frustrations.

Inner rigidity turns into emotional fluidity, and that lets them enjoy a fuller, more harmonious life.

Effective · DoFrom Trust

What do they do?

Their actions flow from trust and freedom. They become:

• More relaxed: they let go of rigidity and allow themselves to enjoy, letting things be what they can be, imperfections included.
• Less critical: of themselves and others, with more compassion and understanding.
• More tolerant: of mistakes and imperfections, which they understand as part of human growth.
• More spontaneous: they can play and enjoy the present instead of constantly worrying about the future.
• Flexible: in their expectations and plans, adapting easily when things do not go as expected.
• Joyful: they express joy and satisfaction more easily, not only when things are "right".
• Aware of achievements: they recognize and celebrate their own and others' achievements, instead of focusing only on what is missing.
• More creative: their approach opens up to more creative, less structured possibilities.
• Mentor and guide: they support others not through criticism, but through wisdom and positive motivation.
• Champion of causes: they fight for their ideals with enthusiasm and hope, rather than out of obligation.

From Fear to Trust

The integration process of E-Mode 1 begins when they stop acting, feeling and thinking from fear, actively working on their fears and exploring new possibilities, and start doing so from trust. In this way they enrich the way they face existence and begin to show positive traits of E-Mode 7 (spontaneity, variety and the enjoyment of life), which they usually did not develop or nurture enough. They move toward flexibility, joy and the acceptance of imperfection.

Integration is, therefore, the process through which a wider range of competencies, skills and resources is acquired to build a fuller, more authentic existence.

Perspective · Think

Perspective: from Fear to Trust

A shift in thinking patterns is essential, one that allows them to be more forgiving and less critical of themselves and others:

• From criticism to acceptance: from "It must be perfect" to "It's good enough and I can appreciate the effort."
• From rigid self-demand to compassion: from "I should do this better" to "I'm doing the best I can and that's OK."
• From impatience to patience: from "This has to change now" to "Change takes time and I'm willing to wait."
• From judgment to understanding: from "This is wrong" to "I can understand why it happened this way."
• From control to letting go: from "I need to control everything" to "I can let things flow and trust the process."
• From perfection to progress: from "If it isn't perfect, it isn't worth it" to "Every step forward is valuable progress."
• From self-criticism to self-appreciation: from "I'm not good enough" to "I'm proud of what I've achieved."
• From obligation to choice: from "I have to do this" to "I choose to do this because it matters to me."
• From guilt to responsibility: from "It's my fault when things go wrong" to "I take responsibility and learn from situations."
• From frustration to openness: "I'm open to seeing the beauty and value in what is imperfect."

Regular practice of these new ways of thinking can be supported by meditation, reflective writing and cognitive behavioral therapy techniques.

Affective · Feel

Affective: from Fear to Trust

To work with their emotions in favor of integration, they can try:

• Emotional recognition: identifying and naming their emotions without judging them.
• Validation: accepting that all emotions are valid and serve a purpose. Instead of repressing anger, frustration or impatience, recognizing them as signals of needs or limits.
• Empathy: understanding others' emotions more deeply, to ease inner and outer criticism and foster connection.
• Anger management: practicing techniques such as deep breathing, counting backward or visualization to prevent impulsive or critical responses.
• Room for vulnerability: allowing themselves to feel and express it in a safe environment.
• Self-compassion: speaking to themselves with the kindness and understanding they would offer a good friend.
• Letting go of perfection: releasing the need for control, understanding that mistakes are opportunities to learn and do not reflect their personal worth.
• Relaxation: activities that relax body and mind, such as guided meditation or progressive relaxation.
• Emotional expression: constructive outlets such as art, writing, music or open conversation with trusted people or a therapist.
• Celebrating achievements: taking time to recognize what is positive, not only what needs improving.
• Openness to diversity: more tolerance of other points of view and ways of life, with less attachment to judgments, preconceptions or strict rules.

Moving toward integration, they allow themselves to enjoy moments of joy and indulgence.

Effective · Do

Effective: from Fear to Trust

Behaviors that can help:

• Flexibility: consciously leaving small imperfections in daily tasks to practice tolerance.
• Easing self-criticism: before criticizing themselves, looking for three positive aspects of the situation or of their own performance.
• Time for themselves: setting aside moments to relax and enjoy things unrelated to work or self-improvement, without guilt.
• Moderate physical exercise: a healthy outlet for tension and stress.
• Creative expression: artistic or creative activities without judging the end result.
• Openness to mistakes: deliberately taking on new, challenging tasks to learn from mistakes safely.
• Patience: with others and with themselves, recognizing that everyone is in a process of growth.
• Connecting with others: social activities that encourage laughter, fun and emotional connection.
• Mindfulness: a meditation routine to increase awareness of the present and reduce automatic reactivity.
• Self-observation: reflecting on their thoughts and behaviors without judging them, for example by keeping a journal.
• Spontaneity: loosening up and going with improvisation, with fun moments and no agenda.

These behaviors help soften the tendency toward perfectionism, value the process as well as the result, and live with more inner peace and satisfaction.

Levels of integration

Disintegrated

They experience deep rigidity and resentment toward others and themselves. They try to justify themselves and silence criticism to protect their image, but feel trapped in a cycle of self-criticism and self-justification.

• Effective: they become critical and punitive; they constantly look for mistakes in others and punish themselves for not meeting their own standards.
• Affective: bitterness and resentment toward others and themselves; they cannot find inner peace.
• Perspective: an extremely rigid, condemning view of the world; they cannot see beyond their own beliefs.

Semi-integrated

They begin to feel pressure to convince others and to stay true to their ideals. They experience anxiety and rigidity as they try to live up to their standards.

• Effective: they fear that others do not share their principles and work hard to convince them; they become serious and forceful in defending their ideals.
• Affective: anxiety and tension from the need to live up to their own standards; they feel obliged to live according to their ideals, which can lead to irritability and rigidity.
• Perspective: a critical stance toward others and themselves, seeking perfection and correcting what they perceive as departures from their principles.

Integrated

They let go of the need to judge and focus on living with integrity and nobility. They embrace life with hope and feel fulfilled acting with discernment and acceptance.

• Effective: they drop the urge to judge and become whole and at ease; they face life with hope and nobility, with patience for their own and others' mistakes.
• Affective: they feel fulfilled and at peace, trusting their ability to discern what is right; they deeply accept themselves and others.
• Perspective: an attitude of openness and understanding toward the world, recognizing the complexity of situations and people.

C-Modes: C9 and C2

C-Modes (complementary modes) influence and nuance the characteristics of each person's E-Mode, creating greater variety and richness in behavior. They are the E-Modes on either side of one's own: if someone has E-Mode 9, their C-Modes are 8 and 1.

Understanding C-Modes helps explain the range of behaviors that people with the same E-Mode can show. An E-Mode may show positive and negative traits of one or both C-Modes, only the negative ones, only the positive ones, or a combination.

Effective triad

The three triads group the E-Modes according to the dimension in which their way of facing existence is mainly anchored: the effective (action), the affective (emotion) and the perspective (thought).

E-Mode 1 belongs to the effective triad: it covers the vital, instinctive drives that help us assert our "territory", such as anger. It focuses on action, instinctive reaction and the relationship with the physical environment, and tends to be practical.

• Focus: action; control and resistance.
• Seeks: autonomy.
• Underlying feeling: anger.
• Aggressiveness: tends to repress it.

Integration and disintegration strategy