Existential development and method

Existential development

In daily life we run on a habitual circuit: a thought connects with a feeling, which leads to an action. That circuit can be adaptive or it can become limiting, with automatic, stereotyped responses.

These are structures that consolidate over time: a network that links a way of perceiving (Perspective) with emotional imprints (Affective) and with patterns of behavior (Effective). In childhood, plasticity is greater; it decreases over the years, which is why it gets harder to change how we perceive, feel and act.

To transform habitual functioning, the sequence runs in reverse: it starts with a new perspective, which translates into new actions, and repeating those actions creates new emotional imprints. When the new way of thinking, feeling and doing is integrated, it becomes the new habitual functioning, this time an authentic one, and the intersection of the three dimensions grows.

The image is that of the mountain: climbing up to reach a new perspective, and then coming back down to make real, in daily life, what we saw from the top.

Three steps and three processes

Perspective · Think

Step 1 · Current and potential perspective — in the E-Session

First, the situation is looked at objectively as it is lived today: what I think, what I feel, what I do, and whether that comes from Fear or from Trust. Then we imagine what it would be like to approach the same situation from Trust: that potential perspective is the guide for the process.

Process 1 · Implementation. Translating the potential perspective into concrete actions. This is a critical point: if the right means are not chosen, the process falls apart here.

Effective · Do

Step 2 · New actions and experiences — in daily life

The designed action is carried out in reality.

Process 2 · Practice. Sustaining the action over time and repeating it until it becomes behavior.

Affective · Feel

Step 3 · New emotional imprints — in daily life

Real change needs emotions to align with the new perspective. Repetition recalibrates the system of desire: by repeating an action, preferences change and, ultimately, so does what we desire. This is the point where most change processes fall apart: understanding the direction does not guarantee moving in it.

Process 3 · Embodiment. The new perspective, once practiced, is integrated with emotional backing and translates into habits: positive ones become virtues; negative ones, vices.

The existential method: the E-Session

The E-Session is the space where the first step of the cycle happens: reaching a new perspective. It has four moments.

1. 1OpeningConfidentiality · Framework: E-Modes / Fear-Trust
2. 2Current perspectiveTopic and concrete situation · Previous E-Sessions · Current mode · Why? What for? · Fear or Trust?
3. 3Potential perspectiveFrom Trust · Why? What for? · T-Moment · Implementation Plan
4. 4ClosingRecovering the experience · Commitment to the plan

1. Opening

Agreements at the start of the E-Session

a. Confidentiality

• E-Session: the person is told that everything discussed is protected by a commitment to absolute confidentiality.
• E-Intervention: it is made clear that everything discussed may be used to support the intervention process.

b. Framework: E-Modes / Fear-Trust

If they are not familiar with the dynamics, a brief description is given.

2. Current perspective

a. Topic

b. Recovering previous E-Sessions

c. The mode in which I am living the current situation

Perspective · Think

What I think

Cognitive current perspective. What do I think about this situation? Ideas and beliefs about reality and the facts.

• What did you think about this situation, or about the people involved?
• What ideas or beliefs do you hold about the current situation?
• Could your point of view be biased for some reason?
• What expectations do you have, and how might they be influencing your interpretation of events?

Affective · Feel

What I feel

Affective current perspective. What do I feel about this situation? The emotions and feelings I experience in the face of it.

• What are your main emotions and feelings about this situation?
• What secondary or underlying emotions can you identify?
• How have your emotions shifted throughout this experience?
• Which emotions are hardest for you to admit in this situation?
• How are your feelings affecting your interactions with others?

Effective · Do

What I do

Behavioral current perspective. What do I do about this situation? The concrete actions surrounding it.

• What physical sensations are you experiencing? (for example, tension, relaxation)
• What actions have you taken so far?
• What are you doing right now?
• What commitments have you made, both implicitly and explicitly?
• Is there anything you consciously decided to leave out or avoid doing?
• Are these usual reactions for you, or is this something new?
• Which aspects of your actions do you feel were more or less effective? Why?

d. Deepening questions

Why? — looking back: where this mode comes from.

What for? — looking ahead: what I am after with this.

e. Reference to the dynamic (Fear or Trust) and to the E-Mode

If the person knows their E-Mode, reference is made to it and to how it relates to what they are going through.

3. Potential perspective

a. A hypothetical way of facing the situation

Perspective · Think

What I could think

Cognitive perspective from Trust. Possible thoughts, ideas and beliefs that could arise from Trust in this situation.

• If I choose to trust, how would I reinterpret this situation?
• What beliefs or ideas could I reframe from a basis of Trust?
• What judgments could I revisit or soften to allow a more open, constructive understanding?
• Am I willing to consider that my current perception might be partial or incomplete?
• How could I question possible cultural or contextual biases from Trust?
• What expectations, guided by Trust, could I rethink to better understand what is happening?

Affective · Feel

What I could feel

Affective perspective from Trust. Possible emotions and feelings that could arise from Trust in this situation.

• What emotions might arise if I approach this situation from Trust?
• How would my main emotions change if I chose to trust instead of fear?
• What difficult emotions could I recognize and accept as part of the process of trusting?
• How could I manage my emotions to go through this situation in a different way?

Effective · Do

What I could do

Behavioral perspective from Trust. Possible concrete actions that could arise from Trust in this situation.

• If I acted from Trust, what would I do differently?
• What concrete steps could I take that reflect trust in myself and in others?
• What would I be willing to face or prioritize if I trust in new possibilities?
• How could I assess the effectiveness of my actions within the Trust dynamic?
• What changes in my habits could express growth toward more trusting behavior?

b. Deepening questions

Why? — valid causes or reasons.

What for? — direction and meaning.

c. From Trust: looking for the T-Moment

d. Implementation Plan

• Specific actions: identify concrete tasks that reflect and align with the Trust-based perspective.
• Frequency and format: set how often and in what way these actions will be carried out. They should be practical and easy to fit into the daily routine.
• Progress indicators: define observable signs of progress toward a way of facing existence from Trust. How can you tell you are making progress? What signs will show you that you are heading in the right direction?

4. Closing

Recovering the experience. Close the session by going over the key points, the perspectives reached and what was learned, consolidating the experience as the basis for the next steps.

Commitment to the plan. Encourage the person to actively take on the Implementation Plan, making sure it is clear and feasible, and reinforcing their motivation to put it into practice and keep practicing it until affective reconfiguration: the moment the habit takes hold.